May 2021: Returning Home

Growing up as the oldest of five children, I was eager to leave home when it was time to go to college. While college was only 45 minutes away from home, I remember the first time I returned after about a month of being away. My father picked me up and I started thinking about the things I missed about home. Interactions with my siblings, our yard, my mother’s food, my high school friends, my bed... I was looking forward to the things I missed while at college. As we got closer to my hometown, I thought about the things I would do. This return home was enjoyable, but my experiences didn’t happen the ways I envisioned. I won’t say it was disappointing or insignificant, just different from what I remembered and had created in my heart and mind while driving home.

“Returning home” in my early 20’s feels a little like returning back inside Holy Trinity for service. I have attended two in person services. It was wonderful to hear music, enjoy the light shining through the stained glass, see familiar faces, join in to laugh with others, and reflect upon the sermons. Sure, there were things that felt a little different than a year ago, yet I felt enriched, comforted, and lifted up. I may not be alone in the way I anticipate how I will encounter my memories and experiences. As I maneuver through recent and ongoing shifts related to COVID and other guidelines, I am trying to keep in mind that my memories are just that, memories. I appreciate and value them for the purpose they service. What I know may not fit into my small slice of the world right now given all the changes and unknown outcomes. In time, and after some perspective, I believe these experiences and memories will gain their own significance.